A Three Way Bond
by Angel of Light3
Summary: Adam is tired of every thing, and the only people who he thinks will miss him are Charlie and Jessie I suck at summaries, but try the story I think it could work out to be Ok. Luv Angel!
1. The Attempt

Disclaimer: Disney owns the Might Duck's I'm just borrowing them for a while  
  
Chapter 1  
  
The Attempt  
  
Adam Banks sat in the Ice Rink at Eden Hall surrounded by his precious possessions. His to duck jerseys, both emblazoned his #99, his stick and his skates, his diary's and his Celtic Cross and his Friendship bracelet (shared with Charlie and Jessie). In his hand he held two pieces of paper. The first read:  
  
Dear Jess and Charlie  
  
I know you two will be the ones to find me because before I do it I'm gonna call you, and my family. The thing is they won't figure out what's wrong until it's to late, cause they don't really know me, not like you two do. All my dad cares about is that I'm the best at everything. He doesn't love me. To him I'm a tool, a means to the end. Coach Bombay once said that my dad would be proud of me, what ever I do, cause I'm his son, but he was wrong my dad has never been proud of me in my whole life.  
  
What I want to tell you guys is that I love you guys and I'll always appreciate all you did for me. I'm sorry I'm doing this but I can't take the strain anymore, so I'm gonna duck out while I'm still somewhat stable. The only people who will miss me are you two; to every one else I'm just a tool. I'm sorry to put you through this pain but remember we're best friends forever. We're Blood Brothers and confidants, and I will always love you and care for you both. I'm sitting here thinking about the irony of our favourite verse from Lives song 'Stage' 'I wanna Feel, I wanna Try, I wanna Rock in the City Tonight, I wanna Deal, Don't wanna Die, I wanna Bring my Captain Hook into the Light' (1)  
  
The fact is I can't try any longer and I can't just deal. I'm tired of feeling and I just wanna die. Remember guys 'we meet again it's like we never left, time in-between was just a dream, did we leave this place?'(2)  
  
I'll miss you guys, but I don't wanna see you for a long time, Okay.  
  
Love forever and always, Cake Eater.  
  
The other read:  
  
The Final Will and Testament of Adam Banks, Junior, Eden Hall Academy.  
  
All possessions I deem to be worth anything lie around me and will go to the following people:  
  
My Original Duck Jersey - To Jessie Hall - So you will always remember just why I got the name Cake Eater.  
  
My Goodwill Games Jersey - To Charlie Conway - Cause I've always remembered how you let me play in your spot, even though you were Captain and by far a better player than me.  
  
My Stick - To Charlie Conway - Use it to score a few goals when you reach the NHL wont you.  
  
My Skates - To Jessie Hall - Always remember me when you're speeding down the ice.  
  
My Photo's - To Jessie Hall and Charlie Conway - Guys split them but always let the other see them if they need to.  
  
My Diary's - To Jessie Hall and Charlie Conway - Always remember just what good friends you've been, and if you start to forget just pick one of them up and read, it'll show you what you did for me.  
  
My Celtic Cross - To Charlie Conway - I always thought it looked good on you. Wear it well  
  
My Friendship Bracelet - To Jessie Hall - I always thought you were the hard-core roughster of the team, until you gave me and Charlie these, use this to show people not to judge you by how you act but by the person you hide from people cause you fear getting hurt.  
  
And my final words to both of you treasure each other because a better friend will be exceptionally hard to find.  
  
Adam Banks  
  
Adam Banks  
  
Reading them through once more to make sure everything was in order I placed them on top of one of my jerseys.  
  
I then took out my phone.  
  
I phoned home and spoke to my dad. I told him I loved him and was sorry and to tell every one else I was sorry and I loved them. I said goodbye and hung up the phone not even giving him the chance to speak, I left him feeling very confused.  
  
I then phoned Jessie:  
  
"Hall Residence, can I help you?" The unmistakeable voice of Jessie answered.  
  
"Jessie, It's Adam, I love you man and I'm sorry. I'll miss you."  
  
"Adam what the ." Was the last thing I heard before hanging up the phone.  
  
I phoned Charlie with much the same conversation, the only difference, his last words were, "Adam, No don't .'  
  
I put the phone in my pocket, ignoring the ringing that I new was my dad. I picked you the knife and carefully examined it. Admiring its sharp smooth steel edge. With tears rolling down my cheeks I slashed across my right wrist, cutting the veins almost in two. I then swapped hands and did the same with the other wrist. I admired the blood flowing down my pale hand, staining it read and pooling at my feet. I started to feel dizzy and light-headed, when I heard the doors slam open in the back round, and Charlie's and Jessie's voiced desperately calling my name. I let a small smile grace my lips. I new they'd be the ones to find me, and with that thought my world turned black.  
  
********************************* Adam Banks new no more.  
  
A/N: - All credit goes to Live for these lyrics - If any one can tell me which Live song these come from I'll dedicate the next chapter to you  
  
How's that. Good, not good. I'd love to know. So leave me a review and tell me what you think? I'm also sending out a plea for a beta so any one willing please says so in your review and leave your e-mail address. Thanks.  
  
Luv Angel 


	2. Restraints

Disclaimer: Disney owns the Might Duck's I'm just borrowing them for a while  
  
AN: this chapter is dedicated to Cake Eater, my first reviewer. For all who want to know, the second set of lyrics in the last chapter was also by Live, form a song called Dolphin Cry. Now on with the Chapter:  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Restraints  
  
I'd been sitting by the phone, contemplating phoning the Ducks for a game of schoolyard puck, when it rang. I was frantic. I called Charlie to find him in a similar state. Almost as one we decided to go to the Ice Rink. I pulled on my blades, and sprinted out of the house, ignoring my mother's calls. I started to speed down the way to Eden Hall, meeting Charlie at the Bridge. Without even a second glance we both continued to sprint down to Eden Hall. This was taking too long for my liking.  
  
We got to the rink and threw open the doors. Looking around the rink quickly, I spotted him first and tore through the bleachers to where he lay. Charlie was not far behind me. When we got there Charlie pulled up short at the awful site in front of us. Adam 's arms and legs were covered in blood. He was unconscious from the blood loss and his breathing was becoming very shallow.  
  
I pulled off my shirt and ripped it in half tying a half around each wrist and putting pressure on the wounds. Charlie was, at the same time, pulling out his phone and dialling 911. While he dealt with the operator I watched Adam, just to make sure he kept breathing. It took the Ambulance 5 minutes to get there. But to us those five minutes felt like an eternity. Both Charlie and I were sitting next to Adam, applying pressure to a wound. We sat quietly watching our best friend and praying to God he would survive this.  
  
When the Paramedics finally arrived we both moved back and allowed them to work on Adam. Charlie came over to me and told me to go with Adam, and he'd phone his family and meet me at the hospital. He then took off the jersey he was wearing over his shirt and handed it to me. I thanked him and followed the Paramedics out to the ambulance.  
  
*********************************  
  
I sat on the bleachers waiting for someone at the Banks' House to answer the phone. I remember when we got these phones, it was Christmas last year and Jesse, Adam and myself met by the pond to exchange gifts. Jesse was the first to give out his gifts. He handed us each a wrapped box. Inside each was the friendship bracelets we all now wear. I went next, I got Adam a journal, because for as long as I can remember he's written in one, and I knew he needed a new one, and I gave Jessie a necklace with a sword charm at the end. I thought it was really cool and I knew he would like it. When it got to Adam's turn he gave us each a wrapped box. Jess and I had looked excitedly at each other and ripped off the wrapping paper. When we finished, we stared at the boxes in shock. They were phones. We both protested, and he told us to shut our traps. He told us that they were there so that if any of us every really needed one of us to talk to, they had a guaranteed way of reaching one of the two of us. After some more protesting and a few death glares from Adam, we gave up. The phone being answered interrupted my thoughts.  
  
"Adam is that . " Mr Banks asked  
  
"Mr Banks, it's Charlie," I interrupted him, "Adam is at the Park Memorial Hospital. There's no time to explain, just get down there as quickly as you can."  
  
"Thank you Charlie, we'll be there as quickly as we can." The phone went dead.  
  
I looked around the place and saw some of Adam's things lying around the spot were he had been. I scanned them and my eyes caught two pieces of paper on top of one of the jerseys. I slowly picked them up. I read the top one. It was the suicide note. My eye's widened at what I read. He really didn't know how much everyone cared for him. He wasn't a tool, he was a friend, and everyone cared for him. Tears were making steady tracks down my cheek. I couldn't believe how alone he must have felt.  
  
When I read the other page my despair was replaced by anger. Anger at Mr Banks. He was always on Adam's case about something. Hockey, grades, Hockey and more Hockey. I gave him my spot because I always said and believe that I would make a better coach than a player, and anyway it's unanimous among the Ducks that Adam is by far the best player.  
  
I gathered up the all of the stuff and took it with me to the hospital. It took me about 10 minutes to reach the hospital, but to me it felt like two. I was dreading what I would find when I got there. I entered the hospital and found the waiting room. It was pretty empty. I spotted Jesse almost instantly. To say Jess was a wreck would be an understatement. He had tears streaming down his cheek and was pacing impatiently. When he saw me he told me they had taken his straight to the E.R and he hadn't heard anything since. That had been 20 minutes ago. We both looked at each other and knew that if Adam pulled through this he was going to die a slow, painful death at our hands.  
  
After another few seconds of silence, I then handed Jesse the letters and started to pace in his place. It had been about 35 minutes since we found Adam and about 15 since I'd spoken to Mr Banks. They'd be here soon.  
  
I looked at Jesse when he cursed, not that that was unusual but he didn't usually do it with such venom.  
  
"What's up," I asked him  
  
"I'm just thinking about what Adam thinks about himself. People think he's being modest when he says he's not that good at things, he really doesn't know just how good he is. His self-esteem is shot, and it's all Mr Banks' fault. If he had been just a little easier on Adam maybe we wouldn't be here. But look what has happened. Our best friend is in there trying to die, while doctors work to keep him alive." He looked about ready to explode. He opened his mouth to continue, but shut it when he saw something behind me.  
  
I turned and saw that the Banks family were here. I looked at my watch, five minutes had past. It had taken them 20 minutes to get here. They rushed over to us and frantically demanded to know what had happened to Adam.  
  
Jesse looked away, so I knew it would be up to me to tell them.  
  
"You might want to sit down for this," I advised them. They sat, Mrs Banks clinging to Mr Banks' hand. "Earlier, Jesse and myself each received disturbing calls from Adam. He sounded like he was saying a last goodbye. Both of us got extremely worried and after a quick phone call decided to check Adam's favorite place in the world, but also the place that has caused him the most pain. The Eden Hall Ice Rink. When we got there we found Adam unconscious. He . He had . He had slit his wrists."  
  
Mrs Banks gasped, then collapsed onto her husband in tears. Mr Banks went white and lowered his head into his hands. Adams brother __________ (If you know his name in the movies, please fill it in.) sat there looking stonily ahead with tears trailing down his cheeks. I went and sat next to Jesse.  
  
We waited for another few minutes then the doctor came out. Jesse and I shot out of our chairs and rushed to her, the Banks' right behind us.  
  
"Are you Adam's family," she asked eyeing Jesse and myself  
  
"Yes," I answered without missing a beat.  
  
"We managed to stabilise him and he's awake now, you can go and see him, He's in room 212."  
  
"Thanks," I cried as the two of us sprinted down the hall to the stairs, while the Banks' stayed to talk to the doctor for a while, and then take the elevator.  
  
Room 212 was right opposite the stairwell and both of us stopped in the doorway, to see a sight I never want to see again. Adam was hooked up to two IV's. Monitors were bleeping all around him. He had a tube in his nose to help him breath. He was staring out of the window and was deathly pale from the blood loss.  
  
"Adam," Jesse ventured  
  
Adam jumped slightly before turning slowly to look at us. He gave us a small smiled while meeting our eyes.  
  
We both rushed forward and seized one of his hands each.  
  
"Never do that to us again, Adam, please!" I begged him. "Please. We couldn't stand to lose you." Jesse nodded frantically. He smiled weakly at us before his eyes drifted behind us. A look of horror clouded his face. Confused Jesse and I turned to look behind us at the door. Standing framed by the doorframe was Mr Banks. Adam was hyperventilating, and trashing around trying to get away. He wasn't moving much, and I couldn't understand it. That's when I saw them, a little way up from his wrists, I looked at Jesse and saw a mirror of what my own face must look like, a look of abject horror. I had just realised what they had done to our best friend. They had him in restraints.  
  
*********************************  
  
A/N: Thanks a bundle to my reviewers, you got my butt into gear so I got this out quicker:  
  
Crazy4nc28 - I didn't mean to make you cry, I'd already started to do that, but your suggestion just proved to me that it was the right thing to do  
  
Sasky Elf - Well I'm glad to be of service, and yes it is coming, you'll just have to wait awhile to get there  
  
Dana - I'm sorry, *grins sheepishly*! I couldn't believe you had reviewed my story, I recently returned to fan fiction and as far as I'm concerned you're like a legend on this site. Thank you for the offer and I'll take you up on it.  
  
Icebox - I Updated, I Updated. Thanks for the review it helped a lot. It had me smiling like a little girl.  
  
Jess - Hope you approve, Jesse should have a greater bit next time, but Charlie just worked better in this chapter. I also have to agree with you. I love Adam and Jesse, and couldn't believe Jesse wasn't in the 3rd one, that sucked.  
  
XoMegsxo - Yeah sorry about that *grins*. No it wasn't hope you still like it  
  
Rodeo Princess - Who says I can't, and guess what I'm good at them so you might just hate me in a while.  
  
Adam - Yeah, I did, you see I really suck at spelling *blushes*. Hope this chapter cleared up that little fact. I was hoping people would notice that little innuendo. Thanks.  
  
Cake Eater - I'm glad you find it 'cool-ish'. I love Banks so I love this bandwagon a lot, I'll read it any time and any place. So one day I just decided to write it.  
  
*Author does Happy Dance*, 9 reviews, you guys surpassed my expectations, I was grinning like a manic for like an hour and a half after I'd read them, my family thought I had gone mad, but then again that's not unusual. Lol. Hope to update soon, and keep R&R-ing, it's like such a great thing to get reviews and they put me in such a good mood, I just write for hours, because I was in such a good mood, and I wanted to please my great reviewers. Okay I'm going to stop rambling now and say, totsiens (This is Afrikaans, a South African Language). Till the next chapter.  
  
Luv Angel 


	3. Explanations and Understanding

AN: okay I know what you're thinking, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN WITH THIS DAMN CHAPTER!!!! And I'm really sorry it has taken me this long but there were three things that contributed to it:  
  
1. My Third Term started and I had sooooooooo much work, tour and a hell of a lot of homework, plus my mother cut down my comp time, I had like 1-2 hours a week unless it was for school.  
  
2. My life was really crap, and lets just say I have a bit more insight into my story than before.  
  
3.And lastly I had Major writers block so I was really screwed, I must have hand written this chapter 10-12 times and not one seemed right.  
  
Now without further ado here is my completed chapter Yeah.  
  
Thanks Angel.  
  
Chapter Three  
  
Explanations and Understanding  
  
I couldn't understand what was wrong with my son, why had he gone crazy when I went to see him. Why had it happened with me and not with his friends? I mean for heavens sake I was his father. I had been asked to leave by the doctors when they came running in, they said the any 'undue stress' could cause him to fall into a coma. His friends were still in there with him ad I'm stuck outside. It's not right, Damnit, it's not right. What was wrong with my son, what had pushed him to do this? He has everything his heart could desire, why would he be unhappy?  
  
Charlie and Jesse are here. They are sitting by my bed. Once the doctors had calmed me down, they left us alone. I had panicked when I saw my father. I couldn't face his disappointment, again. That's all I had ever done with him disappoint him. I had never been able to live up to his standards and that hurt, cause he already had the perfect son, I had to live up to his accomplishments, and surpass them. And doing that was impossible we were too different. He was a straight A student, and he didn't even have to try, brilliant Athlete, attentive son, and was friend with 'all the right kids'. Well at least that's how my dad saw it. I worked really hard to get my A's and worked really hard a hockey, but because of this I never had time to try anything new. I wasn't attentive to my fathers every wish and I was friends with the ducks, and from the feedback I've gotten from my father, he didn't like that. I had always been a disappointment and I always will be.  
  
'What am I gonna do now?' I thought to myself, as I heard Charlie calling my name.  
  
"Adam." "Adam ." I called again for the 5th time.  
  
"Yeah" he answered absently  
  
"We wanna know why?" I said, "We need to know why! I can only imagine how hard this is on you, but you need to let us in let us help you, please talk to us."  
  
He choked, "Oh, God Charlie," he was near tears "I can't take it anymore, I can't deal with his disapproval, his disappointment. It's too hard. I have dealt with them for years, and I can't do it anymore!"  
  
I was crying, he was as well, and I'm sure if I had looked at Jess he would have been to. I hated to see my friend, who'd helped me through so much, in so much pain.  
  
Luckily Jesse took over while I collected myself, he leaned over and hugged Adam and soothed him, made him relax abit.  
  
"Adam," he said through a tear soaked voice, "he loves you, so do the rest of your family. And more than anything else man, we love you, the ducks love you, your one of us, and remember duck's fly together."  
  
"Adam, your our best friend we couldn't deal with it if we lost you, you mean too much to us, your our partner, our friend and most importantly our brother. We wouldn't be able to live without you. You complete us. The terrific trio. Hell on the ice and off of it. Together till the end, remember that. We promised we'd be together to the end, and I'll be damned if we don't!" and it's with that I joined the embraced, we must have been like that for 5 minutes, before a hoarse voice from behind us, called out  
  
"Adam."  
  
We turned and saw Adams father and looked back at Adam. He met our eyes and nodded. So Jesse and I embraced him once more and then we left the room leaving Adam alone with his father.  
  
*******************  
  
I looked into my dad's eyes. There were lots of emotions in them the most prominent. Concern and ..............love? That was a surprise for me, and I broke down crying, again. He rushed up to my side and started hugging me. I was so upset. He's going to hate me, he's going to hate me, he's going to hate me, this became my new mantra. I finally stopped crying, he let me go and sat back on my bed a bit. He looked me in the eye and asked the one question I dreaded to hear from his lips.  
  
"Why?" His voice was strangled and his eye's looked distraught.  
  
"Because." I trailed off.  
  
"Because." I started again, "I couldn't deal with disappointing you again, it's all I ever do, and I wanted to make your life easier, leave you with a perfect family, with no blemishes to the name, no-one to ruin your reputation. I have never lived up to your expectations; I've always fallen short. Harper has always overshadowed me. And I can't deal with it anymore, I need to get out of his shadow, and seeing as how I could never do anything better than him, I wanted to die. I needed to get out, to leave my life and finally have peace. Sometime when I wasn't working madly to prove myself and could relax."  
  
I dropped my eyes. I couldn't believe I had just said all of that. He's going to hate me, he's going to hate me, he's going to hate me, and I reverted to my new mantra. I slowly raised my eyes and looked at my father. He was staring at me in disbelief. I dropped my eyes again, he's going to hate me, he's going to hate me, he's going to hate me. I felt his finger underneath my chin, slowly raising it so that I was looking into his eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry," He said, and I was confused, "I'm so sorry. I didn't know you felt like this I always thought you loved your life, I thought you were happy. I was wrong, and I'm so sorry I didn't realise it." He leaned down and pulled me into a hug, cause I couldn't move very far from the restraints. "We'll work on this, Adam, I promise, we'll help you get better. I couldn't deal with loosing you. I love you."  
  
With that he got up and walked out of the room, presumably to find my mom, but I really didn't care, and for once I fell back onto the bed and to sleep in peace, happy.  
  
*******************  
  
AN/ Right well there it is, hoped you like it, I could use your feedback. I'll work quickly on the next chapter and I'll get it up soon I promise. This hasn't been beta'd by my wonderful beta, Dana, because I wanted to get it up as fast as possible.  
  
Review Responses:  
  
andie: there we go, hehehe  
  
Adriana3: Hey there we go hoped you enjoyed.  
  
melodie: thank you very much and I did, but sorry it took so long  
  
crazy4nc128: Oh My God your review was so nice thank you so much, did you really think he wouldn't live, hehehe. Yeah right I couldn't part with my fave character, lol. By the way I've read all your stories and I think your great, and I love your righting so your review means a hell of a lot to me thanks.  
  
Dana: Yeah I know, and don't worry about the ques, I'm the same, yeah I new about her, and I love her in your stories by the way. Sorry I didn't send you this chap to beta but I really wanted to get it up quick.  
  
anne: yeah I know, thanks, and I'm sorry this was so long in coming! ( Jess: thanks for the help it was really appreciated it and I love Adam and I think that with the way he's treated he HAS to have a low self-esteem so I thought why not show that to others. Hope you enjoyed this story. 


	4. An Appointment with the ‘Bitch’

AN: *Author ducks Flying desks, chairs and computer screens* okay I know what you're thinking, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN WITH THIS DAMN CHAPTER, again!!!! And I'm really sorry it has taken me this long but life has been quite a Bitch herself, I haven't stopped this term, I have been getting home at like 19:00 every night, and I'm starting the day at 05:00, so when I get home all I have the time to do is my homework, eat, shower and hit the sack and then it's life 23:00 or sometimes even 00:00 depending on the homework, then it's 5 to 6 hours of sleep a night, and frankly I have been burnt out and this has had to take a backseat, unfortunately, though it was never stopped, I have been writing this chapter for ages it's just taken me forever to type out and post, and saying that is even quite sad cause it is quiet short *me hangs head in shame* but in the end it all worked out, I got a Service scroll, which is a great honour at my school for a Grade 11, and I was the only one to get one this term, so I am a happy bee at the moment.  
  
Disclaimer: Opps forgot about this last time, none of the ducks or duck merchandise are mine, they al belong to Disney, though the doctor and Harper (who won't play a big part) are mine in personality, but if you wanna use them go ahead, I'd be honoured. No profit is being made, and if you sue me all you get is a few schoolbooks and small change. Lol  
  
Now on with the story, Yeah.  
  
Thanks Angel.  
  
Chapter Four  
  
An Appointment with the 'Bitch'  
  
When I woke up I realised that I still could not move. This annoyed me to no end, what did they think I was gonna do, kill myself? Well, okay, maybe. I was dieing in these restraints. I enjoy my freedom, and I live for my movement, and here I felt trapped. I didn't know what to do, so I did the only thing I could think of, I trashed, and I screamed. The nurse ran in, closely followed by the doctor and a few orderlies, one of them with an injection. I stopped thrashing and looked at them. They were confused and looked at me, the orderlies and the nurse left leaving the doctor. The doctor, put down the syringe, and asked me how I was feeling.  
  
"How do you think I'm feeling?" I asked, the idiot, "I'm stuck in this place, with idiots all around me, I wanted to be dead by now, and on top of all that I CAN'T MOVE!!!!" This last bit I screamed at the top of my lungs. I was fuming, I already hated this man, and I hadn't even known him for 5 minutes.  
  
"Okay, well you firstly need to calm down, I understand you frustration but I can't do anything until you are cleared by the resident Psychiatrists, I think she will be here in 10 minutes. Look son I ..." Here I cut him off.  
  
"I'm NOT your son!!!" I was about to break down, god I hated being this emotional, "when can I go home?" I asked in a defeated voice.  
  
"Well you are fine medically, it's emotionally and mentally that we need to deal with. In normal circumstances after someone has tried to commit suicide they have to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks, in the Psychiatric Ward, but that is all up to your psychiatrist." At this there was a knock at the door, "and speaking of the devil, here she is, come in Doctor. Adam this is Doctor Rachael McGill, Doctor McGill this is Adam Banks. Right so I'll leave you two to get acquainted."  
  
As he passed Dr McGill he whispered "Good Luck" out of the corner of his mouth. Dr McGill just smiled and turned back to Adam.  
  
"Hi there," She smiled.  
  
She seemed nice, but she had one big thing going against her. She was a Psychiatrist and all that meant to me was that I hate her. I have never gotten along will Psychologists, and Psychiatrist wouldn't be any different, other than she would put me on drugs, which I would not take, even if my life depended on it. I don't take drugs, whether they are medicinal or recreational. Any drugs I've been given in the past have gone down the loo, faster than you could say No.  
  
When I didn't reply, she didn't seem fazed and continued talking, 'Right so lets see here, you are 16 years old, and a star Hockey Athlete and a straight A student at Eden Hall, and you have a great group of friends, or at least so your parents say. Now for some reason I don't think that this is a dossier for a suicide candidate. So are you gonna tell me what's up?"  
  
I still remained quiet. I was in no one gonna answer her, all she was gonna do was go and tell everything to my parents, I had experience, and I was not gonna trust her.  
  
"Okay," she said, "we're doing this the hard way."  
  
"Look, all I want is to get out of this hospital, but more importantly out of these god damn restraints," I spat at her, spite dripping from my voice in buckets, "so either let me out and let me go home, where I can live my life and forget this ever happened, or leave."  
  
'Adam," she said, "you can't ignore this but I will let you out of the restraints, only if you promise not to do anything rash."  
  
Look all I want to do is go home, and that's where I'm going tonight, if you discharge me or I go AWOL, so just get on with the psychoanalysing so I can go home, I have work to do."  
  
"Adam, I understand that you wanna get home but you have to let us help, and anyway, your parent are coming to take you home tonight, I agreed to let them when they spoke to me, but you are not escaping that easily, you have sessions twice a week with me, and there is no way of getting out of them." She said this all very calmly, and it pissed me off.  
  
"As long as they don't mess with my Hockey schedule and you are willing to spend two hours a week doing nothing then that's fine by me." I said this all very bitterly and glared at her with hatred I didn't even know I possessed. This did obviously not faze her, as she didn't flinch.  
  
"Further more, you are gonna be on anti-depressants," here I scoffed, and she cast a side long look at me, "and your parent will be making sure you get them in the right quantities, cause we don't want you to slip.' My teeth were grinding and I was fuming. I hated her, and that was never gonna change. God I wish I could get out of here. I hate this place, and more than ever I hate myself. Oh thank god, finally, she is removing the restraints. When they are gone, I move my arms above my head and stretch. Once she has moved the one on my legs I shift a bit till I'm on my side facing away from her.  
  
I heard her sigh and quietly leave the room; finally I let my mask slip and sigh. I stay like this till my mother and father arrived later and checked me out. I went home that night and retreated to my room, locking my door, laying on my bed and going to sleep. I didn't interact with anyone that night and I was dreading the next day when I would have to.  
  
**********  
  
When I woke up today I was dreading having to go to school. I didn't want to hear what people were gonna say about Adam, but I pitied anyone who said anything about it in front of the Ducks, especially Fulton and Dean, after the meeting we all had yesterday.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
After me and Jesse had left the hospital it was about 18:00 and we only had to be home again at 22:00, so we decided it was time to call the Ducks and inform them as to all that had been going on. Jesse phoned the Ducks that were all at Eden Hall, and I phone the odd one that had gone home for the weekend like Jesse and me. We asked them all to meet us at the old Duck Pond, and to please hurry, cause it was very important.  
  
About 10 minutes later we had all gathered at the old pond where the ducks used to have their fun when we were still District 5. Jesse and I told them to sit and get comfy cause we had a lot to talk about.  
  
'Hey guys, we can't start yet!" cried Portman, everyone looked at him in confusion, then realisation dawned on most faces, 'hey dud he's right, Banksie ain't here yet."  
  
'Guys..." I said slowly, 'that's what Jess and me have to tell you. Adam is in Park Memorial...' I started to explain  
  
What? Why? When? How? Huh? What's up? What's wrong?  
  
All of these hit me form all directions. Jesse held up his hand and everyone quieted down, "Guys please let Charlie finish this is hard enough as it is for both of us, and you'll understand why now, just let him say it, cause I know I can't" He said this all quietly and calmly, and this is what scared the other Ducks, Jesse always had a fire to him and here it just wasn't showing. I chocked, when I restarted my tale.  
  
'Today Adam gave Jess and me very scary and worrying phone calls. I couldn't understand it at first but after a while I understood, and then I called Jess, he was equally worried, and we decided to go and check out the Ice Rink, cause Adam always goes there when he is upset. We skated there as fast as we could, but when we got there we were a bit to late. Adam had slit ... oh god ... Adam had slit his wrists; he was still alive, still breathing but just. We both did all we could and called the ambulance and they came and took Adam to the hospital. He survived, and he's in quite good shape considering, but we are really worried about everything that's going on with him, and we are gonna need your help to help him." At this I finally lifted my head and looked at everyone, Dean and Fulton had steely, resolved looks on their faces, and I knew they would protect Adam. Connie was in Guy's arms, in tears, and Guy was trying to hold his own back. Julie was sitting quietly tear flowing down her cheeks, the rest of the guys were all sombre, there was no smirk on Averman's face, and no twinkle in Russ's eyes, I think this was the first time I'd seen him without some smart comment.  
  
"So guys are you all in?" Jesse had asked them softly  
  
"Yes" they all coursed, and we started to get to work on how to help Adam, number one on our list however was the cardinal rule when working with Suicide Cases, Don't treat them any different!! But I knew I, for one, would be keeping a very close eye on my best friend, cause I really couldn't afford to loose him.  
  
*End Flashback*  
  
Now I had to go to school and face a sea of people who know what had happened to Adam, I don't know what I'll do if I hear someone talking about him in an anything other than civil way, and I know the Bash Brothers have had their ears pealed all weekend, and will have them today. I really do pity the person to talk bad of Adam in front of them, or even just in their hearing range, cause they will get pounded into the ground.  
  
Oh well nothing I can do but go and face the music, I pick up my tog bag that has all of the stuff I brought home with me for the weekend and my school Backpack, though I hadn't done any of my homework, I was sure the teachers were gonna understand, and if they didn't tuff. I put on my Roller Blades and headed out for school. When I got there, there was a special notice on the boards, there was a special assembly in the hall during first period, 'oh well, here we go,' I thought and stepped into the school to face the day, and I had a feeling it was going to be a really bad day.  
  
*******************  
  
AN/ Right well there it is, hoped you like it, cause I enjoyed writing it. I'll work quickly on the next chapter and I'll get it up soon I promise as I don't have to worry about anything other than the Matric dance and it's holiday from Wednesday. This hasn't been beta'd by my wonderful beta, Dana, again, cause I wanted to get it up as fast as possible for you people.  
  
Review Responses:  
  
Queen of the Cake-eaters: So was I, but I wanted to be back with this before today, but oh well what can I do. *Sighs at bad luck* Hope you enjoyed and I promise another chapter will be up in a week  
  
anne918: Yeah I really enjoyed writing it, thanks so much your support mean a lot to me and I will work really hard on the next chapter I promise.  
  
CakeEater'sGirly99: I'm soooooooo sorry, this really was meant to be up last month but that never happened. Hope you enjoyed  
  
crazy4nc128: Hehehe well I didn't mind the 2 review, *grins* hehehe hope this one was as good for you as the last was, and yes I think it is gonna be VERY hard, aren't I evil!! Btw I am adoring your stories and I hope you update spoon cause I am feeling deprived  
  
Vinnies-Angel: Okay so I didn't exactly hurry but it's here hope you enjoyed  
  
nebula2: Wow your review meant so much to me, *me blushes* you really left me a wonderful review and it really inspired me to write, I just had to get the time to type it up and post, but the God's seemed to conspire against me on that one! And btw I don't think I'm gonna give Mr Banks a role reversal, but things aren't as black and white as they seem *evil smirk*  
  
PTM63326: Thanks here it is!!!!  
  
Namida: I'm sorry!!!, I cried writing it, so don't worry, you were luck you had to wait the shortest 


	5. Strong Bonds

AN: *Author does happy dance* Yeah under a week, this is so cool; I haven't ah this kind of inspiration in weeks. I think my muses are happy, for once in my life. Okay I have a dedication to make here this chapter goes out to special friends of mine that read this, and have inspired me more than a lot of people. So Tyrkara, Petrock and Shabadak, though I have yet to give her the link, *giggles*  
  
Disclaimer: None of the ducks or duck merchandise are mine, they all belong to Disney, though the doctor and Harper (who won't play a big part) are mine in personality, but if you wanna use them go ahead, I'd be honoured. No profit is being made, and if you sue me all you get is a few schoolbooks and small change. Lol  
  
Now here is chapter five,  
  
Luv y'all Angel.  
  
Chapter Five  
  
Strong Bonds  
  
Hey there J,  
  
I didn't think I would ever be writing in you again. I hate the fact that I am. But at least I still have you to write in. I had thought that I would have to wait until I saw Jess or Charlie to get you back, but it seems Jesse took some initiative and brought you back to me. I'm scared J, I don't know how people are going to react, or how they were going to treat me. I know they will all know by the end of today, and I have to go back there soon, I cant cope with all of this, I need realise, but the there are only two ways for me to do that, and I doubt I will be allowed near anything sharp for along time. Maybe I can talk my mother into letting me go to the ice-rink. I really hopes she lets me go cause I need it, I need to forget about everything and the only time that happened is when I hit the ice. Well let's go see what I can come up with hey. Thanks J, this has been a much-needed talk. Till next time, A.  
  
I unlocked my door, actually shocked that I still had a key, I hadn't even though about it until now as last night I was in such a rotten mood. I walked downstairs to find my mother reading the morning paper at the kitchen table. Well this was gonna be interesting, I thought as I spoke,  
  
"Hey mom," She jumped, and I suppressed a laugh, "can I go to the ice-rink please? I wanna skate."  
  
"Adam, I don't think it's the best idea for you to be going to the ice-rink at the moment, you need to relax and regain your strength," she told me, looking a little lost. She had never said no to me before I think she was finding it hard. I had heard the slight hesitation in her voice and I new I could break her.  
  
"Please mom, I need to skate, I need to think." I gave her my patented 'do- it-or-I'll-hate-you' look, I had this down to a tee and I new she could never say no to it, cause she new better than most that I had a temper and wasn't afraid to use it. I hate to show emotions yes, but anger is the only one I have no problem with. If someone pissed me off they would always know about it. [1]  
  
"Oh okay fine, but I'm taking you," I new that this was the only way I was going so I had no complaints with her coming. I ran upstairs and to my bathroom, I hit the shower, and washed as quickly as I could. When I was finished I grabbed a towel and dried off, I then looked down at my wrested at the bandages that had been put on before I left the hospital last night. My mother had new ones and I would have to get some to change these ones as they were now soaking, but I'd change them in the car. I grabbed my skates, my stick, and my hockey kit. I then started toward the door, raring to go. I stopped short. Hold on a mo, Charlie and Jess, should have all this. That's when I saw the note sitting on top of my desk, writing on the envelope in Jesse's trademark scrawl, that only a few could actually read, was my name. I looked at the letter and decide that I would read it later.  
  
I raced down the stairs and saw my mom waiting for me in the lounge.  
  
"Mom, I need new bandages please," I was cool as ice when I said this, but I saw her flinch. I new for a fact that my mother was meant to be at work, but she had taken off the two days I would be home. So she could watch me herself and not leave me with Rosie, our housekeeper, like she usually did, and does. She gave me the car keys and told me she would be out in a few minutes, as she went upstairs to fetch the bandages, and I went out to her car, a Jeep Wrangler. I got in the front seat after dumping my stuff in the back, and I waited. She arrived not even two minutes later and got in the car, she gave me the bandages and took the keys. She started the car and backed out of the driveway. As we started on the way to the rink I took off my bandages. I admired my handy work I hadn't had a chance to see the cut as they had always been in bandages. They were ... I don't know how to explain it, cool? comforting? I didn't care the one on my right wrist was thin and travelled right across my wrist even curving abit to around the wrists, it was the one I'd done first and as thus was the better one of the two. The one on my left was more of an angle; it travelled slightly across the wrists curve and ended just after the tear in the vein. They were stitched up, and a bit itchy but I like that, cause it reminded me that they were there. I saw my mother glance across and look at them, then look away in seeming disgust. I laughed inwardly; this was actually funny to watch. I loved this feeling. I was finally getting back at them for everything I had endured over the years.  
  
I bandaged my right then my left wrist and then turned and looked out of the window, oh yeah, we're almost there, the old ice-rink I hadn't been here since just before I started at Eden Hall, as when I started there I could always go skate at their rink, and as I live there most of the year, there is really no reason for me to visit the old rink. When we arrived I jumped out the car and grabbed my gear. I ran into the rink and to the changing rooms. Once in there I changed as quickly as I could. I quickly grabbed my stuff and headed out to the ice. The rink was deserted, my mother was staying in the car, from what I could see, I hadn't bothered to ask her. I opened the door to the Ice, and stepped on. I felt better almost instantaneously. I started to skate, and slowly, relax, I was going as fast as I could, speeding around the rink as fast as I could, loving the feel of the cool wind from the rink and my speed flowing past me.  
  
I was lost to the world, and to myself all I wanted to do was skate for eternity, I didn't care about anything at the moment, it was just me and the ice and I was alive for the first time in days, weeks even. I started to slow down when I became aware of a presence in the duck's bench, as I'd started to call it after the Peewee championship game. I slowed down and pulled to a stop just in front of the bench.  
  
I didn't even have to look at the person to know who it was, "Hey coach" I said only then looking up at him and into his eyes.  
  
"Hey Adam, how you doing?" He asked never breaking eye contact.  
  
"Okay," I lied and looked down, he new I was lying, he new me the best next to Jess and Charlie.  
  
He came up next to me and pulled me into a hug. I stiffened. After awhile I finally let myself collapse into his arms, and let tears that had been threatening to fall since yesterday morning fall, he was one of 4 people who had ever seen me cry and the only one of those four people who I didn't mind crying in front of.  
  
"Hey, hey, hey, he said to me, what's up, why are you so distressed, I got a phone call from Charlie the other night and he was in a state. It took me nearly a full half an hour to get any sense out of him, and then once he had finally told me what happened he kind of seized up and told me I needed to come back. So hear I am, and I'm yours for the day, I told your mother I'd bring you home tonight. So come and sit with me here and let's talk, cause I think that you need to be reminded of a little conversation we had a few years ago." Hey said this all calmly, and lead me to the benches.  
  
Now was the time I new, the time to tell him everything from what had happened after our conversation at the Junior Goodwill Games till now [1as well]. This was gonna be a really long day.  
  
*************  
  
When all the Duck had arrived at the assembly hall we all found seats in the auditorium. I was on the end of the aisle next to Jesse, I had on my White Duck Jersey, as it was a comfort to me, while Jesse had on his normal Green Duck Jersey, the jerseys Adam had given us, just they were our own and not his. Jesse had transferred to Eden Hall just after the Hockey Season last year, he had been sent to a boarding school in Missouri, and had hated it. His parents had wanted him to try that school before he came to Eden Hall. Our hockey team now had one extra player and the Dean was talking about kicking out one of us, he just didn't know that we knew, but in the end Jesse came through and saved the day. He's an excellent Basketball player and as he made the team for that they decided that they would leave everyone in on their scholarships, and seeing as next year we would all probably be playing JV, he could have the best moved up to Varsity to take the place of one of the seniors that left. We were all cool with this as this meant that all the Duck would now be united again after a long time of being apart.  
  
The last bell has just rung and all the stragglers are running into the hall and finding their places, God this is gonna be a long day. The dean has just gotten up and has moved to the podium. He looks very grave, now I KNOW this assembly is about Adam, and I don't know if I can deal with this.  
  
"Attention, Attention please." He calls and everyone quietens down, eager to find out about y they are missing 1st period. "This weekend we nearly lost a very prominent student of Eden Hall." The hall went deadly quiet. "Adam Banks is missing today, and it is with great sadness that I tell you it is because he tried to take his own life." The gasp was unavoidable, but it still got to me, these people new nothing yet as the whispers started I could here them already judging Adam for this and it was killing me. As the dean called for quiet and continued his little speech, I could here the odd comment or judgement, and after about five minutes I couldn't take it anymore. I jumped up, and ran out of the auditorium at full tilt, I needed to let off steam and I could only think of one place to do it. I was in such a hurry that I didn't see the look that passed between the Dean and Coach Orion, or see the Coach get up to follow me, all I could do was run and that was all I did.  
  
*************  
  
The Deans voice was just a hum in the background for me; I was going over the event of this weekend in my head, and not quite believe everything that had happened so quickly. I felt more than saw Charlie get up and run from the auditorium, and was going to follow him until I saw Coach going after him, I decided to let them be, Charlie and the coach had become really close toward the end of the hockey season and even more close after it, so I new he was in good hands.  
  
I could feel the eyes of the people around me on my back, and could hear the whispers and accusations that were being flung around. I hated this about people. That they felt they had a right to judge others. I really felt sorry for anyone who said anything within hearing range of any of the ducks, classes or not I new all of the duck were on the defensive and it wasn't a good idea to talk about a duck, we all loved each other and had been through so much together that anything you said about one duck, you said about them all, and as everyone new it was never a good idea to piss off Dean and Fulton, cause they didn't care about anything but pride and their friend and families, so god help anyone that messed with or talked about Adam in the next few weeks cause they would be on the receiving end of the Bash brothers, somewhere I have had the joy of never having been.  
  
When the Dean had finally finished his talk which I had completely missed, and dismissed us back to second lesson, I was amazed to find that I couldn't even remember what I had now, I didn't want to be here right now I had too much on my mind but I new that if I wasn't here it would just ad more fuel to the fire that was the Eden Hall Rumour tree, and that was all the Ducks need. I slowly collected all my thing and looked up to see all the ducks waiting for me this was all the proof I needed that we would sort out, cause this is just the meaning of the saying 'Ducks Fly Together', we did and we would always be there for each other, even if we had problems of our own. We slowly walked to class, we all walked together, in a kind of guard and people left us alone, parting so as not to disturb us. We stopped at everyone's class to drop them off, and show people we were united and not to mess with even one of us. My class was the last one we stopped at, it was History, and I had it with Dean, Julie, Guy and Adam, but we were one short today, and it showed in the seat that was vacant next to me, looking at that seat, it hit me just how hard today was actually going to be.  
*******************  
  
AN/ Wooooooooooohoooooooooooo it's up in under a week and it is 2 503 words, go me!! Hehehe, hope you guys enjoyed that cause I loved writing it. Tell me what you think in a fantabulose review please. Constructive Criticism welcome, but flames will be used to roast my Easter eggs.  
  
[1] Is it just me or has anyone else ever noticed that the only time you ever see emotion in Adam is when he is angry with someone or something, or when he is with Coach Bombay.  
  
Review Responses:  
  
AntiIRONY: well here it is, and I hop you liked it, I have no problem with slash but I'm not gonna turn this story into one, I have a plan for this and I promise it does not involve very much romance, and sure as heck not between Jess, Charlie and Adam. Hehehe  
  
preciousbabyblue: thanks, got this out as quickly as I could, hope you enjoyed it  
  
singo1 : Hehehe so was I, hope this was as good for you as the last few chapters. Lol  
  
Vinnies-Angel: ohohoh look I hurried!!! It worked woooooooooohooooooooooooooooo. Hope that was good for you, and I'm so glad to have had a review from you, they are always good to read, I hope I can write the next one this quick to, Luv angel 


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